She is beautiful and she is mine

It is funny how sometimes at the darker times you find something you never expected. M and I starting going to lunch after my ex left me. At first I was so focused on my pain that I really did not notice this amazing person who patiently listened to me and slowly got to know me better. After awhile we talked more about us and less about my ex until I finally broke free. 

It is amazing how much we have in common. Suddenly I have this social life I never had before. I have a companion who is constantly by my side and loves me. I have someone who admires me and is proud to be with me. We support each other and take care of each other. Lol, she is the light to my darkness. 

Pumpkins

We went to a pumpkin patch today. Chasing after 4 kids was a bit of a challenge but also a lot of fun. Getting all these kids to pose with a serious face was impossible so we went for all four silly faces. That worked out! It was a lot of fun. We picked out the perfect pumpkins and ate ice cream. Since it was 90 degrees here that was a welcome relief.

A new start

I think I am going to begin writing on this blog again. When I last blogged I was a happy husband with what I thought was a happy wife and four great kids. I still have the 4 great kids but not the happy wife, lol. She decided to exit our marriage and find happiness somewhere else. While I spent several months grief stricken by her decision I have begun to emerge from the fog and face the world again. I have a new relationship starting with a woman who looks to be away more compatible with me than my wife ever was. I have 2 extra children who hang out with us (hers) so now I am up to six! In the end I am stronger than I have ever been. I refuse to let my travails bring me down. I will face the world with strength and happiness. I believe in the end my ex will pay a price for not only what she did but how she did it. However, that is between her, Karma and God. I am moving on!

When your child exceeds you

When I was in high school I played football. I would say I was not so good at it. I played the line and my entire technique involved hitting whoever happened to be in front of me. I rarely actually knew the play nor understood what was going on around me.

I went to a small church school that had about 300 students and our football coach was also the priest for the school. He tried his best but there was only minor talent and he really had no idea how to coach. So we regularly lost and when I finished high school I never played again.

Which brings me to my son. He attends a church school also. But his school has 2500 students. And a football team that USA Today has ranked #3 in the nation. Their entire coaching staff is ex-NFL, the Varsity is sponsored by Nike and two of their games this season were televised nationally on ESPN. To them football is deadly serious. Last year the entire starting line had a football scholarship to a major college.

They learn techniques that most players never see until college. Where I used to just hit the guy in front of me, they study footwork and leverage points. They understand deeply the technique behind the game at a level that no one on my team ever approached. They also practice 6 days a week and off season their days start with a 6 AM morning workout.

This year my son played JV. For the 5th year in a row they were undefeated. The offensive line averages around 250 lbs. One team refused to play against them because in the prior game 6 of the opposing players had to be carried off the field. During that game I heard on team mom mention to another that "we are going to need more ambulances". And in this highly competitive mix, my son was selected out of 60 kids to move up to Varsity in his sophomore year.

Which brings me to the title of this post. For the first time, one of my children is clearly better at something that I could ever be. Even if he never plays college level he is still a better football player than I ever was. Which is sort of a funny feeling. It is like the time when they finally beat you in a footrace even though you are trying (instead of letting them win).

I find myself un-bothered though. I am fiercely proud of all my kids and very proud of my oldest son. To know that he is better than me actually makes me happy in a strange way.

What I do worry about is if in my pride I am putting an expectation on him that he cannot live up to. At the skill level he is playing at kids are thinking college ball and beyond. There is always the temptation to use performance enhancing drugs to stay ahead. I worry constantly that he will be pushed into something stupid. Especially since at "only"220 lbs (at 15!) he is considered "small" for the position he is playing.

So I encourage him to play while constantly cautioning him against drugs and reassuring him that even if he does not play college he will still have had the experience of playing with people who he will eventually see on TV in the NFL. And that experience alone is worth something! He will always know that he got selected for Varsity as a sophomore and was a success in a very difficult team. I hope that is enough. For me I could not be more proud of him and I don't care if he plays college or not. I just hope he believes me.

In South Florida we have Lobster Mini-Season. For 2 days in at the end of July you can go out and catch lobster (up to 6 each person). Regular season starts in August. It is sort of insanity. It has become this huge deal where it seems like half of South Florida (I may be exaggerating there) loads up on boats and hunts lobster. What makes it really funny is that many of them have no idea what they are doing.

This year three of us at work decided to go lobster hunting with our sons. So the six of us loaded up on my buddy's boat and headed out. I was inexperienced but my two friends were veterans.

Each morning we met at my friend's house and loaded into his truck. We then headed to a private dock we have access to (public docs are overcrowded on this day and take forever). We launched out by 6 AM and hit the water.

Day 1: We get out into Miami bay and the boat motor refuses to work. After about 2 hours of back and forth calls with my friend's boat mechanic we finally get it running and head out to the Keys. We hunted lobster until 5 PM that night. I was waxed. C1 was with me and that is as tired as I have ever seen him. We caught only two lobsters we were allowed to keep. No problem catching lobsters, big problem catching big lobster. We did manage to stag one huge 17 incher and one smaller one. It was a cool experience though even without the lobster. We had a barracuda swim right by us (mean looking fish), had a wild dolphin play around us as we swam, and saw a lion fish (highly poisonous fish). We stayed way away from the lion fish. It is supposed to be like being stung by a hundred bees at once. No thanks! C1 got stung by a jelly fish though which he suffered through surprisingly quietly.

Day 2: Better luck with the boat so we got out earlier. We decided to dive some reefs fairly far out. All the dads SCUBA dove and the sons floated on the surface looking for lobster. Again, caught 15-20 but had to throw all of them back. I did see this huge black spotted eel though. It looked and me and I swam backwards fast!

As my buddy and I were complaining about the lack of sizable lobsters I suddenly realized that people pay good money just to come here and dive these reefs. And here I have them in my back yard and I am complaining. So I finished the dive and just enjoyed several beautiful reefs. What was neat was that you just drive around the Keys and look for reefs. Once you fins one you drop anchor and dive in. Most of the reefs had no one else even close to us when we dove.

At the end the dads decided this is a new tradition. We are going to try and go next year also. Maybe we will have better luck. I know we will have just as much fun!

Lazy Summer days in South Florida

Well we just got back from our annual trip to Cocoa beach. I really love it there. Every day is so completely lazy. I don't wake up until 9 (which is unheard of, usually I am up before the sun). Then we either spend the day swimming or going to the beach. This year we also spent hours into the playroom where A and the RP lived. We stay at the Ron Jon Cape Caribe (you can look it up on the internet..awesome place).

So now we are back and yes you guessed it, back in the water! It is so hot that usually on the weekend we live in the pool. Then I cook dinner on the grill and we eat outside. The wonderful thing about living in the sub-tropics is that after the sun start setting the world cools down. So you have these wonderful evening breezes. We sit out by the pool and eat our dinner and it is super!

Other than that, not much going on. Still no hurricanes which is great! In other news, C1 is now driving confidently. We invested in a set of driving lessons for him and it has really paid off. He is confidently driving around. We picked up the Matriarch from her hotel recently and he drove her around! That was her first grandchild who could drive. So a great first! She survived the trip with only minor gasps and wimpers!

Oh yeah that is a rare picture of me (I am usually the one taking pictures) with the RP. I was trying to steal a kiss and she was having none of it. I have now officially gone on a diet after that picture. Time to get back to my fighting weight (though the shirt is sort of puffing out).

I have no camera and thus no fun pictures..I blame the dog

So I have lost my camera. That means no cool pics for the blog this week. Somewhere there is a red camera in my house. I am a bit skeptical about finding it. Last time I lost my Ipod I never found it. I think it is possible that my lab ate it. He eats everything else so it seems possible!

In the winter I always enjoy talking to my friends who do not live in the sub-tropics. As they freeze we still stroll around in short. It is hot now but in a tropical kind of way. So burning hot but a cool breeze. By evening it is still hot but you can sit outside and it is pleasant. These days though we pretty much spend 60% of our time in the pool trying to keep cool.

The family is leaving for Cocoa Beach tomorrow. In 2007 I bought a timeshare and I have never looked back. Each year I take my family for a week there and we love it. Everyone always warned me about timeshares but really this one works fine for me. Since I really don't have a big desire to go anywhere but the property I bought into I have never had a problem reserving the week I want.

During much of my childhood my family spent a week each summer at the beach. Now I have recreated that only in Cocoa! It is funny how you end up picking certain memories from your childhood and relive them with your family.

Anyway I just wanted to document something!